wedding custom
Here are some wedding traditions that couples in China, Morocco, and many other places have been using for hundreds of years.
The toasts. The bouquet toss. The dreaded Chicken Dance. These are rituals that, for better or worse, brides in the US can expect on their wedding day. But have you ever wondered what your wedding would be like if you weren't American? Trust us, it would be just as wonderful. Whether you want to learn about wedding customs from other countries, or you'd like to personalize your own with a little international flair, we've pulled together some of the best wedding traditions from abroad.
Wedding Traditions in Italy
When: In Italy, wedding festivities usually kick off in the morning, ideally on a Sunday. According to regional Italian folklore, you should never marry (or leave for your honeymoon) on a Friday or Tuesday, or you’re bound to have loads of bad luck, while Saturdays are reserved for widows getting hitched to husband number two (or three, or four...).
Attire: Don’t bother with makeup since in addition to a white gown, you’ll wear a veil -- a symbol of virginity (don’t worry, it’s just for show). Tearing the veil, however, is considered good luck (Why? Just use your imagination). Meanwhile, the groom can lug a piece of iron (preferably a small one) in his pocket to ward off evil spirits.
Activities: Traditional Italian brides and grooms forgo the limo and make it to the chapel on foot. In certain villages, residents throw symbolic obstacles in your path to suss out your future as man and wife: If a broom lands at your feet and you pick it up, for example, you’ll be one helluva housecleaner. After the wedding ceremony, the couple shatters a glass or vase -- and does their best to pulverize it, since the number of pieces represents the amount of years they’ll stay happily married. If someone hands you a double-handed saw, you and the groom must cut a log in half to prove you can work together without driving each other insane.
The Food: A roasted baby pig or lamb accompanied by wanda, bow ties of fried dough dipped in powdered sugar. Women sip Marsala wine, men guzzle the much stronger grappa (go ahead and guess who’s in store for a hangover). Confetti -- sugar-covered almonds (or Jordan almonds, as we know them) representing the bitter and sweet of life -- serves as snacks or, yes, projectiles thrown at the newlyweds as they make their exit.
The Music: Possibly a jaunty jig called the tarantella. Legend has it that a woman who was once bitten by a poisonous tarantula cured herself by shakin’ her booty better than Beyoncé on a very good day. The least it can do for you is to keep you from passing out due to too much Marsala.
Added Perk: Money -- lots of it. Forget toasters and towels: Guests place cold, hard cash in a white satin bag called la borsa.
Wedding Traditions in China
When: Depends on your astrologer. Chinese couples may consult a fortune-teller to find a favorable date derived from their birth dates.
Attire: Brides may forgo the white wedding gown in lieu of a fire-engine red silk dress that’s intricately embroidered with a dragon and phoenix. If you think choosing one dress is tough, check this out: Chinese brides buy as many dresses as their budgets allow and change from one to the other throughout the wedding to show their family is not strapped for cash.
Activities: At the break of dawn on the big day, your loyal bridesmaids get to give your husband-to-be a hard time, forcing him to negotiate his way into your house. Once your gal pals are satisfied with his offerings and deem him worthy of entering, a ritual tea is served to your family while you and your honey drink wine out of goblets that are tied together with red string or paper, which signifies your bond.
The Food: Leave room for a 10- to 12-course banquet -- another way families flaunt their wealth. The flashiest dish served is shark’s fin soup, which will drain anyone’s bank account quickly at $150 per guest. Other delicacies include bird’s nest soup (yes, made from real birds’ nests) and a whole fish, which is served because the word for fish, yu, sounds similar to the word for abundance.
The Music: Guests get in touch with their wild sides and enjoy a performance called the lion dance, in which performers dressed as powerful felines sway to the beat of drums, gongs, and cymbals to scare away evil spirits.
Added Perk: Even after the wedding feast, guests traditionally follow the couple into their bedroom, making as much noise as possible and taunting them. Then, as if they need any prompting, the newlyweds are encouraged into faux acts of intimacy as part of the game. Guests typically try to stay in the room for three days -- or as long as they can before the privacy-starved couple kicks them out. Call it a perk or a complaint, but you’ll get plenty of time with your friends!
Want to know more? Get answers to all your Chinese wedding questions!
Wedding Traditions in Mexico
When: In the evening around 9 p.m.
Attire: The bride might don a brightly colored, Flamenco-style dress with ruffles at the hem. But the groom gets off easy: Rather than sweating to death in a tux, he’ll most likely wear a guayabera. This light, short-sleeved shirt is not only perfect for tropical temperatures, it’s a Latin symbol of masculine elegance. Some guys take this to the nth degree by dressing like a matador, with a bolero and those cute, snug-fitting pants.
Activities: During the ceremony, the groom offers his bride 13 gold coins, called arras, which stand for Christ and his apostles (or you could just say they represent a groom’s promise to keep you knee-deep in furs and all sorts of other finery). Following the vows, the priest wraps a lasso, a large rosary, or a band of flowers in a figure eight around the couple to symbolize their eternal unity.
The Food: Spicy rice, beans, and tortillas. Save room for the wedding cake, which is made with nuts and dried fruit -- and soaked in enough rum to get everyone slurring during their toasts.
The Music: As the bride and groom dance, guests gather around in the shape of a heart. Then things can get a little saucy: The couple forms an arch with their upheld arms, and single women dancing la vibora (the snake dance) pass through until the couple captures one of them. Then the single guys dance until one gets caught and lays claim to the bride’s garter belt. You know what happens from there.
Added Perk: Bridal servants called madrinas (godmothers) are at your beck and call, making the plans and arranging bouquets -- so you don’t need to lift a finger.
Wedding Traditions in Sweden
When: A liberal bunch, Swedes often decide to marry after living together for a few years, or after the woman is pregnant with their first child. With almost 20 hours of sunlight each day, summer is prime wedding season.
Attire: A crown belonging to the bride’s family or church, and, although it hardly sounds comfortable, a gold coin in your right shoe and a silver one in your left for good luck. Making walking even harder, your shoes stay unlaced to improve your chances of easy childbirth.
Activities: If you want to follow a seriously old-school tradition, breathe as little as possible, since brides and bridesmaids carry bouquets of weeds that stink to high heaven in order to ward off trolls (don’t knock it -- trolls haven’t crashed anyone’s wedding so far). According to another old tradition, men dance vigorously around the bride to knock her crown off, and the victor has good luck.
The Food: The traditional Swedish smorgasbord lasts for three days and can include sill (herring), lingonsylt (lingonberry jam), and köttbullar (Swedish meatballs).
The Music: Throughout dinner, all of the guests sing drinking songs -- and they are also welcome to give speeches or toasts in honor of the new couple.
Added Perk: A Swedish woman gets two gold rings: one for engagement and one for marriage, with the engagement and wedding dates engraved on the inside. Find your wedding jewelry.
Wedding Traditions in Morocco
When: Moroccans commonly celebrate weddings on Sundays in the fall at the end of the harvest, when there’s plenty of food to feast on.
Attire: Lots of color, including yellow weddings (it scares away the evil eye) and green weddings (it’ll bring good luck). Plus, you’ll get some intricate temporary henna tattoos on your hands and feet.
Activities: Better keep your schedule wide open -- Moroccan weddings can last up to seven days. The first three days are spent preparing and partying. On the fourth, a sheik unites the couple. On the fifth and sixth, more parties. On the seventh, the bride is held aloft in front of friends and family and then placed in the arms of her groom, signaling the end of the ceremony. The couple departs in a shower of figs and raisins but even then, it isn’t over: Once she arrives at her new home, the bride might circle the house three times to establish ownership before she can go to sleep.
The Food: Fish and chicken, ancient symbols of fertility, are often served. Guests may also dig into tajine (a chicken stew mixed with almonds, apricots, onions, and other spices that’s served with pita bread) and plenty of those candy-covered almonds, which are considered aphrodisiacs.
The Music: Belly dancers often usher the bride and groom into the reception in a parade formation called the zeffa. There, guests may also boogie down to the Middle Eastern sounds of drums, tambourines, and a string instrument called a zither.
Added Perk: Sure the wedding’s exhausting, but Moroccan brides do get to indulge -- namely, in massages and milk baths to purify themselves for the big day (er, week).
A special thanks to: Lisa Light, founder of DestinationBride.com and author of Destination Bride: A Complete Guide to Planning Your Wedding Anywhere in the World (2005); and Timeless Traditions: A Couple’s Guide to Wedding Customs Around the World (2001) by Lisl Spangenberg.
Photo: (In order of appearance): Simon Yao; Joel Silverman Photography; Sarah
Bork Hamilton; K&C Photography; Laurie Tennent Studio
-- The Knot
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