Engagement Issues: Diplomacy Primer

engagement

You've made your announcements. Now it's time for engagement quandary number one: How to use diplomacy with friends and relatives.

You've only just shared the news about your impending nuptials, and already everybody wants to know when the big date is, who your attendants are going to be, and whether you're serving chicken or beef. Here's how to deal.


Take a Deep Breath

Try to answer all inquiries with maximum coolness and your trademark sense of humor (one of the best tools for rebutting sticky questions without bruising egos). Keep in mind that the people who are drilling you with endless, even sometimes insulting questions -- Aren't you too young to get married? Won't this interfere with your promotion at work? When are you going to have kids? -- aren't trying to drive you nuts. They just want to be part of the excitement and help you avoid pitfalls.


Choose Your Battles

When your aunt assumes her dog walker will be invited to the wedding, simply say, "We're very sorry, but with the cost of the wedding we just can't invite everyone." Honesty is always the best policy. For bigger issues, like when your fiance's family expresses concern over splitting holidays, enlist your fiance. After all, you each know best how to manage your own crowd.


Be Fair with Friends

Our bet is that all of your friends, family, and coworkers are basking in the light of your love. Well, almost all of them. There will always be a few black sheep in the flock who, for one reason or another, just can't digest your good news. Friends may be jealous or feel like you're abandoning them and that they won't see you as often now (they're probably right). Try to clue in to their concerns and reassure them the best you can.


Let It Go

How to handle evil-wishers (like high-school enemies, your commitment-phobic squash partner, or that waiter from hell who's got a crush on you)? Just ignore them. Who cares what they think? They'll get over it.
-- The Knot

Destination Weddings: Marrying in the Cayman Islands

destination wedding

Why Here?

Discerning couples who want more than a destination wedding in a box head to the Cayman Islands for the ultimate in hospitality and tropical romance. Whether you choose to marry at a smaller resort or a five-star hotel, this destination has the resources to cater to every couple's personal style, guest list size, and whim. Not to mention the backdrop is absolutely gorgeous. Think tranquil turquoise waters, and sugary white sandy beaches dotted with palm and pine trees.

What to Know?

All three islands are home to a wealth of reputable wedding vendors, from full-scale event planners to photographers, florists, and bakers, so there is little need to BYOV.

High season begins the week before Christmas and goes through April 16. Avoid hurricane season, which is May-November.

There is no live/outdoor music allowed on the island on Sunday, which means that if you are saying "I do" beneath a tent on the beach or poolside on a Saturday, your band or DJ must wrap it up by midnight.

The Cayman Islands is practically the safest destination in the Caribbean, which makes it a great destination for multigenerational families.

Highlights for Guests

What's nice about the Cayman Islands is that your guests have plenty of options should they have some downtime in between wedding events. Stingray City is just a 10-minute catamaran boat ride away, where adventure seekers can swim with tropical fish and snorkel among the reefs. At the Turtle Farm at Boatswain's Beach, kids and adults alike will marvel at hundreds of giant turtles and other creatures of the deep. For landlubbers -- and shoppers -- there is also historic Georgetown, where sparkling jewelry retailers abound.

Marriage Requirements

Residency Requirements: None

Necessary Documents: Non-residents need a marriage license, letter from authorized marriage officer, proof of citizenship and age, proof of marital status (legal divorce decree or death certificate, if applicable), Cayman Islands Immigration Department pink entry slips, and two witnesses

Island Plus: Your event planner or hotel can arrange for an officiant to come to you for all the paperwork, and then he or she can go to the courthouse to get everything certified, so you'll be free to tend to any last-minute details.

Best Places to Get Married in Grand Cayman

The Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman Recently opened in December 2005, the Ritz has brought five-star luxury to the Cayman Islands. Poised on the famous Seven Mile Beach, ceremonies and receptions can be set up on the Great Lawn, by the sea on the hotel's private beach, or in a the 9,000-square-foot Cayman Islands Royal Ballroom. The Ritz is staffed with an in-house team of four floral designers,( flora dresses) as well as a pastry chef to create your wedding's requisite bouquets and confections. What's more, Silver Rain, a La Prairie Spa at The Ritz-Carlton, has a menu of indulgent spa treatments that not only celebrate the energies of water, but are guaranteed to wash away any last traces of prewedding stress or jitters.


Wedding Packages: $3,400-$20,000


For more info: RitzCarlton.com

Hyatt Regency Grand Cayman Also on Seven Mile Beach, the Hyatt Regency is ready to host your wedding on its rooftop sun terrace, boasting panoramic views of the island. You can also marry here toes-in-the-sand or on the Turtle Pool Deck, which is perfect for smaller groups. Both the terrace and pool deck are lined with whitewashed British Colonial columns, providing a gorgeous contrasting backdrop against the clear blue sea. From a tropical buffet to a four-course, sit-down dinner, the catering staff can accommodate up to 200 of your closest friends and family.


Wedding Packages: $1,350 - $2,700


For more info: GrandCayman.Hyatt.com

Grand Old House If you love the beach, but also want a little formality infused into your day, this plantation-style site will do the trick. Perfect for indoor or outdoor weddings, the Grand Old House features a seaside gazebo (perfect for oceanfront vows or your own private sweetheart table), plus enough space to seat 150 in its air-conditioned, elegant dining rooms and on its quaint screened porch; or 130 on the site's Water's Edge patio. For rehearsal dinners, the Wine Room comfortably seats a party of 10 against a backdrop of wall-to-wall wooden wine cellar racks


Wedding Packages: $590-$2,500


For more info: GrandOldHouse.com

The Great House at Pedro St. James The Grand Cayman's national historic site is also a gorgeous place to wed. Situated on seven landscaped acres on the water, the Great House is a restored three-story eighteenth-century house with stunning mahogany verandas that your guests can stroll through as your tented reception takes place below. This picture-perfect setting can accommodate up to 800 for an over-the-top affair complete with a fireworks finale.


Wedding Packages: upon request


For more info: PedroStJames.ky

Rum Point Home to the best mudslides on the island (think signature drink), Rum Point is situated on the opposite side of the island's Seven Mile Beach. This spot has a casual beachside bar and grill (great for a laid-back rehearsal lunch or reception), an adjacent resort to accommodate your guests, and a convenient whitewashed pier that juts out into the crystal-blue sea for a vow exchange directly over the water.

Wedding Packages: upon request


For more info: GrandCayman.Hyatt.com

The Reef Resort Whether you want to sneak away a deux for the most private of nuptials, or arrive with your entire family in tow, The Reef can accommodate up to 120 people. This all-beachfront-suit property is a stress-free destination courtesy of in-room whirlpool tubs, four-post king-size beds, private balconies, and its own beach bar. Ceremonies can take place on the dock, while the party begins on the beach or in the resort's air-conditioned restaurant overlooking the sea. Bonus: This site only hosts one wedding per day, so you are guaranteed the staff's undivided attention.

Wedding Packages: $1,995-$5,095


For more info: TheReef.com

The Westin Casuarina Resort & Spa For luxurious amenities combined with a laid-back vibe, look no further than the Westin. This four-star hotel has everything you need to put together a formal wedding (the beachfront Governor's Ballroom, a preferred vendors list, and a deluxe banquet menu and wine list), plus the means to make you -- and your guests -- feel like you are truly on a tropical island (think swim-up pool bar, full-service spa, and oceanfront dining options specializing in lip-smacking Caribbean fare).

Wedding Packages: upon request


For more info: WestinCasuarina.com

Wedding Receptions: Jewish Reception Rituals

Wedding Receptions

You signed the ketubah, raised the huppah, exchanged rings, and stomped on the glass -- but wait, the wedding's not over yet! There are a few more rituals left to make your reception a true simcha (joyous celebration).

Blessing The Challah

The wedding meal begins with a blessing over the challah, an elaborately braided bread. The couple's parents or another honored guest can make the hamotzi, or blessing.

S'eudah Mitzvah

This is the food portion of the reception -- chicken and fish, both fertility symbols, are ever-present dishes at Jewish weddings(buy flora dresses). The first course at Sephardic weddings is called Sutlach, a sweet rice pudding made with coconut milk, honey, and almonds -- all symbols of a sweet and prosperous life. If you're wondering whether or not to serve a kosher meal at your wedding, take it from us -- kosher doesn't mean unappetizing. Dry brisket and lead latkes aren't your only options -- there are plenty of yummy kosher treats to satisfy the crowd. Imagine seared salmon and sundried tomato and artichoke penne. Or rosemary chicken and roasted veggie couscous. How about garlic marinated Romanian tenderloin, or even spicy tuna sushi? Decide whether you want a meat or a dairy meal. (Remember, fish and eggs are parve, which means they go both ways.) Find a glatt-kosher caterer: if that's too hard-core, ask your caterer to devise a "kosher-style" menu that adheres to kosher rules but isn't cooked in a kosher kitchen. Eliminate treyf no-nos like pork and shellfish. No lobster salad or oysters Rockefeller? Who cares? Hey, you might even save a few shekels.

The Hora

No Jewish wedding is complete without the Hora, or chair dance, most likely derived from the tradition of carrying royalty on chairs. A few strong and brave guests hoist the bride and groom high above the crowd on chairs to the infectious sounds of "Hava Nagila". Friends and family dance around in an ecstatic circle as the elevated couple tries not to look (or fall) down.

Mitzvah Dances

Entertaining the bride and groom on their wedding day is not only a mitzvah (good deed) but also an obligation. At traditional Jewish weddings, the couple is seated on chairs and guests dance before them with masks, silly costumes, and props.

Mezinke Tanz OR Krenzel

The Mezinke Tanz is one of the concluding dances of the night and honors parents who have married off their last child. The dance is also known as Krenzel (Yiddish for "crown") in reference to the crown of flowers often placed in the mother's hair during the dance. The proud parents are seated on chairs in the middle of the dance floor while friends and family dance around, kissing them as they pass in front.

Birkat Hamazon

The traditional way to end the festive meal is with the birkat hamazon, the blessings after the meal. Booklets of prayers, called benchers, can be handed out to guests. After the prayers, the seven wedding blessings are repeated, giving friends yet another opportunity to participate. Finally, the blessing over the wine is recited as two glasses of wine are poured together into a third, symbolizing the creation of a new life together with a new marriage.